Integrity means wholeness....

Thinking about relationships on this Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share a different perspective. This viewpoint encompasses all of our relationships, not just our romantically inclined ones.

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How to Grow When You Don't Know How - Saturday, March 29 in Huntsville, AL, 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. (If you are interested in a week-night teleclass version, please send me an email.) In this workshop, we'll explore various aspects of who you are, including your gifts and strengths, values, life balance, and life purpose. We'll also expose hidden blocks, defenses, and underlying fears that keep you from moving forward. Get more info.

There are many levels of relationships. On Valentine’s Day we typically focus on romantic relationships. But any kind of “relating” – association or connection – with another human being is, essentially, a “relationship.”

This relationship may be as short as a smile or nod to a stranger passing by, or as long as a 50+ year marriage, or anywhere in between. A relationship can be on any familiarity level from stranger to acquaintance to parent/child to lover.

The consequence is the same – we learn and grow from our interactions with other people.

Relationships are there to “bring up our stuff” so that it can be healed. And the biggest “learning” opportunities happen when someone “pushes our button.”

When our “buttons” are pushed, in essence, the other person has brought to our awareness something that we either don’t want to acknowledge or don’t like about ourselves, or something that we are afraid to look at.

Unfortunately, what typically happens is that we get defensive, become angry, and/or blame the other person. We get caught up in the “drama” of the situation and the ensuing hurt feelings and bruised egos.

The intriguing thing about relationships, however, is that the upset rarely has to do with whatever the surface issue or situation is about.

Looking below the surface, getting to the root cause of the upset, one usually finds a reoccurring theme of similar upsets. Life continually brings us opportunities to heal and let go of the past.

The main thing to remember in relating to anyone is that if you find yourself on the “button pushing” side and the other person reacts unfavorably, even if they are yelling down your throat, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

I realize this is sometimes easier said than done. But if you can not take their reaction as a personal assault, working toward a solution to the current situation will be a much more productive process.

Everything a person does or says is done or said through the perspective of their own life experiences….. Which is where unconditional love comes in.

The greatest gift we can give another person is “permission” to be whoever they are at this moment without judgment.

We all have our own stuff – our own life lessons. And all that any of us can do is relate to each other with what we have where we are right now.

We all have our issues to work on. We all have life lessons to learn. We all have a purpose for being here on earth and we all have a mission to accomplish while we’re here.

I believe that God – the Universe, Spirit, All-That-Is – brings to us the people who can best help us in these endeavors. These people are our guides and teachers. And through our relationships they are helping us grow into our potential, helping us become our Best and Highest Self, helping us to re-remember that we are One with God and One with each other.

Everything is made up of energy. We are energy, the world we live in is energy, our words are energy, and our thoughts are energy.

Looking at it this way, our relationships are really about managing our energy. In the same way we manage our money in a bank account, in relationships, we have an imaginary "Relationship Energy Account."

If we are always drawing from the account, depleting our energy, we exhaust our resources physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

As you interact with other people throughout the day, ask yourself, is this discussion or situation enhancing my energy, or is it depleting my energy?

If you tend to find yourself in energy depleting situations, here are some suggestions for turning those encounters into more energy enhancing than energy depleting situations.

About My Practice

Create a Happy 'Tude is published monthly on the 2nd Tuesday of each month. Its purpose is to inspire and motivate readers to keep a happy, healthy, prosperous attitude by providing articles, exercises, tips and resources.

Spiritual Coaching Center specializes in helping clients move past their fears, discover their true selves, and get on with the passionate pursuit of their dreams. If you are ready to stretch beyond your current limits and create a more authentic, happier life for yourself, I would love to talk with you. Send an email or call 256-348-5236 to set up a free Discovery Session.

My personal mission is to tell the truth, to live with integrity, to be my real, authentic self, and to inspire others to do the same. If I can help bring a smile to someone's face, offer a different perspective, or inspire just one person to get a move on, then I will have taken one more step toward fulfilling my purpose in life.

- Becky Waters, Lifestyle Wellness Coach

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