“It
is through our personal relationships that we learn
the most about ourselves – who we are, what
we value, what we hold dear. Our relationships also
teach us about our own frailties, our insecurities,
and the wounds of our past. The partnerships that
are the most challenging are indeed the most precious,
because they will teach us more about ourselves
than we ever dreamed possible.”
- Jan Forrest, author, Awakening the Spirit Within
Check
In
Welcome
to my new subscribers! And Greetings to Everyone!
Thinking
about relationships on this Valentine's Day, I thought I'd
share a different perspective. This viewpoint encompasses
all of our relationships, not just our romantically inclined
ones.
Openings
- I currently have a three openings for clients.
If you would like personal support on your path I would
love to talk with you. Or, if you have a friend, co-worker,
or family member who feels stuck or is in that place of
"don't know," I would appreciate the referral.
Learn more about coaching
or my coaching programs.
Discovery
Sessions are a great no-cost, no-obligation way
to experience the benefits of coaching first hand. You can
learn more or fill out the
questionnaire form here.
How
to Grow When You Don't Know How - Saturday, March
29 in Huntsville, AL, 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. (If
you are interested in a week-night teleclass version, please
send me an email.) In this workshop, we'll explore
various aspects of who you are, including your gifts and
strengths, values, life balance, and life purpose. We'll
also expose hidden blocks, defenses, and underlying fears
that keep you from moving forward. Get
more info.
Relationships:
An Unorthodox Point of View
Relationships are how we grow
There
are many levels of relationships. On Valentine’s Day
we typically focus on romantic relationships. But any kind
of “relating” – association or connection
– with another human being is, essentially, a “relationship.”
This
relationship may be as short as a smile or nod to a stranger
passing by, or as long as a 50+ year marriage, or anywhere
in between. A relationship can be on any familiarity level
from stranger to acquaintance to parent/child to lover.
The
consequence is the same – we learn and grow from our
interactions with other people.
Relationships
expose our ‘issues’
Relationships
are there to “bring up our stuff” so that it
can be healed. And the biggest “learning” opportunities
happen when someone “pushes our button.”
When
our “buttons” are pushed, in essence, the other
person has brought to our awareness something that we either
don’t want to acknowledge or don’t like about
ourselves, or something that we are afraid to look at.
In other
words, they’ve put the spot light on our “issue.”
Unfortunately,
what typically happens is that we get defensive, become
angry, and/or blame the other person. We get caught up in
the “drama” of the situation and the ensuing
hurt feelings and bruised egos.
The
intriguing thing about relationships, however, is that the
upset rarely has to do with whatever the surface issue or
situation is about.
Looking
below the surface, getting to the root cause of the upset,
one usually finds a reoccurring theme of similar upsets.
Life continually brings us opportunities to heal and let
go of the past.
Relationships
are opportunities to practice unconditional love
The
main thing to remember in relating to anyone is that if
you find yourself on the “button pushing” side
and the other person reacts unfavorably, even if they are
yelling down your throat, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.
I realize
this is sometimes easier said than done. But if you can
not take their reaction as a personal assault, working toward
a solution to the current situation will be a much more
productive process.
Everything
a person does or says is done or said through the perspective
of their own life experiences….. Which is where unconditional
love comes in.
The
greatest gift we can give another person is “permission”
to be whoever they are at this moment without judgment.
We all
have our own stuff – our own life lessons. And all
that any of us can do is relate to each other with what
we have where we are right now.
Relationships
are “assignments” from God
We all
have our issues to work on. We all have life lessons to
learn. We all have a purpose for being here on earth and
we all have a mission to accomplish while we’re here.
I believe
that God – the Universe, Spirit, All-That-Is –
brings to us the people who can best help us in these endeavors.
These people are our guides and teachers. And through our
relationships they are helping us grow into our potential,
helping us become our Best and Highest Self, helping us
to re-remember that we are One with God and One with each
other.
Go
Deeper, Reach Higher
It's
All About Energy Management
Everything
is made up of energy. We are energy, the world we live in
is energy, our words are energy, and our thoughts are energy.
Looking
at it this way, our relationships are really about managing
our energy. In the same way we manage our money in a bank
account, in relationships, we have an imaginary "Relationship
Energy Account."
If we
are always drawing from the account, depleting our energy,
we exhaust our resources physically, emotionally, mentally,
and spiritually.
As you
interact with other people throughout the day, ask yourself,
is this discussion or situation enhancing my energy, or
is it depleting my energy?
If you
tend to find yourself in energy depleting situations, here
are some suggestions for turning those encounters into more
energy enhancing than energy depleting situations.
Don't
take things personally. Remember, it's THEIR stuff. Try
not to get caught up in the drama.
There
is always a choice. Any response you make is your choice,
and choosing not to respond is a viable choice too.
Be
aware of your internal conversation during the exchange.
What are you telling yourself? Are you trying to justify
your position or rationalize your response?
Recognize
early warning signs of "tilt" or getting off
center. What are your emotional triggers? What are your
reactionary response patterns?
Reign
in your emotional response. The hardest thing to do is
'nothing.'
Regulate
feelings to get centered. Take a time out! Go get a drink
of water or cup of coffee, take a deep breath, sleep on
it. Respond only when your state of mind is balanced.
Plan
your strategy and response. Don't react on default. Take
a moment to think through your next action.
-
adapted from Live a New Life Story: The Owner's Guide, Dave
Krueger
About
My Practice
Create
a Happy 'Tude is published monthly on the 2nd
Tuesday of each month. Its purpose is to inspire and
motivate readers to keep a happy, healthy, prosperous
attitude by providing articles, exercises, tips and
resources.
Spiritual
Coaching Center specializes in helping clients
move past their fears, discover their true selves,
and get on with the passionate pursuit of their dreams.
If you are ready to stretch beyond your current limits
and create a more authentic, happier life for yourself,
I would love to talk with you. Send
an email or call 256-348-5236 to set up a free
Discovery Session.
My
personal mission is
to tell the truth, to live with integrity, to be my
real, authentic self, and to inspire others to do
the same. If I can help bring a smile to someone's
face, offer a different perspective, or inspire just
one person to get a move on, then I will have taken
one more step toward fulfilling my purpose in life.
-
Becky Waters, Lifestyle Wellness Coach
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