-
A Course in Miracles
Fear
is a powerful emotion. It can stop us from reaching our
potential and it can hold us back from living life to
it's fullest. Fear robs us of our creativity and it diminishes
our personal power.
"Fear
leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
Overcoming
fear is critical to accomplishing the things we want in
life. And it's a necessary ingredient for improving our
life situations. Here are the six steps I teach my clients:
Step
One - Become Aware
Sometimes the fears have been with us so long that we
don't even realize they're there. They've become a habit.
Many of them were ingrained in us as children to keep
us safe - like "Look both ways before crossing the
street" or "Don't talk to strangers." The
thing to do is look at them to see if they still serve
us now.
What
are you afraid of? Stop and take inventory. Make a list
of your fears. Keep a log with you during the day to write
down any fears you notice. Before you can change anything,
you must be aware of it and acknowledge it's presence.
Step
Two - Look Underneath
Most of the time our fears are resting on shaky foundations
just waiting to be crumbled. They're based on irrational
beliefs, negative self-scripts handed down to us, or that
we give ourselves. They're based on a weak self-image
or self-concept that inhibit us from asserting ourselves.
Or they're based on excuses that we hide behind to avoid
change or growth.
To
get to the root cause of our fears, it's necessary to
look underneath the fear by examining your thoughts, feelings,
and beliefs.
Get
your inventory list, and for each fear, complete this
sentence:
I
am afraid of _________ because....(write down the first
thing that comes to mind.)
Keep
writing this question 30 times, or until you have filled
a whole page, each time putting down the first thing that
comes into your mind. Don't judge what comes. Just write
quickly, letting it flow out.
When
you are finished, go back and read what you've written.
Look for repeats. Note any aha's or surprises. Did any
categories or types of fears emerge? Write a short summary
of your findings.
Another
way to uncover limiting beliefs is to ask this question:
Why
am I afraid of ________? or Why am I afraid to _________?
Do
this in a similar manner. Ask/write the question and write
down what comes to mind without judging. Then read over
what you've written, analyze, and write a short summary
of your findings.
Step
Three - Stop Sinking, Change your Thinking
The
mind chatter that continuously goes on in our heads is
our worst enemy. This inner critic keeps the fear alive
by telling us all the reasons why we "can't"
do something or be something. It focuses our minds on
impossibilities and imminent failure, which programs the
subconscious mind to bring us even more "reasons"
why we can't.
But
if we change our focus and start saying "I CAN"
then the subconscious mind will go out looking for ways
that we CAN instead of finding evidence to support the
fear (I can't).
In
your notebook, keep track of the times you say or think
"I can't" through out the day. Invite a friend
or co-worker to "catch" you in conversations
if "I can't" slips out. When you say or think
"I can't" immediately change that statement
to "I can."
"Whether
you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually
right ."
Step
Four - Visualize Fearlessness
To
be a success, we have to first "see" ourselves
being successful. It's like "practicing" in
your mind. Athletes do it all the time. They see themselves
crossing the finish line, making the touchdown, or hitting
that home run. They have confidence and "know"
they can succeed. You can too.
Take
time to visualize yourself and your life when you are
no longer trapped by this fear. What will be different?
How will you feel? What possibilities might lie ahead
when you are fearless?
Write
it down in detail and take time to meditate on it. Give
yourself this gift of inward reflection every day. Really
get into the feeling of it. Live it in your mind.
Step
Five - Create a Plan
We're
aware of the fear, we've changed our "can't's"
to "cans," we see ourselves living fearlessly
and "doing" the thing that we fear.... Now it's
time to get out there and "do it" for real!
Chances
are though, the fear may have multiple layers and will
need a several baby steps before conquering it completely.
For instance if you have a fear of public speaking, volunteering
to give an hour long presentation at your next meeting
would probably not be a good first step. Joining a Toastmasters
group where you can "practice" speaking in front
of people who are also working on the same fear, would
be a better plan.
Look
at your fear. How can you break it down into smaller do-able
steps? Create a plan and schedule it on your to-do list.
Step
Six - DO It!
Gather
your courage and faith in yourself and take action. Give
yourself a push and just DO it! The more experience you
have doing it, the more the fear will subside.
"Inaction
breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think
about it. Go out and get busy."
"Courage
is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of
fear ."
"Come
to the edge, He said. They said, We are afraid. Come to
the edge, He said. They came. He pushed them... and they
flew ."
